


Readjusting

by xslytherclawx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boy-Who-Lived Neville Longbottom, Divorce, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Friends, Muggle London, Past Lily Evans/James Potter - Freeform, Post-First War with Voldemort, Remus Lupin Fest 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22913425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: When Voldemort murders Frank and Alice Longbottom, their baby survives.Meanwhile, Lily moves into a flat in Muggle London. Alone. With baby Harry and the cat.Remus helps.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Lily Evans
Comments: 23
Kudos: 90
Collections: Remus Lupin Fest 2020, xslytherclawx's Prompt Collection, xslytherclawx’s events collection





	Readjusting

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the super fun prompt #186: When James and Sirius run off into the sunset together, Remus and Lily rekindle their secret relationship from when they were teenagers. 
> 
> I didn't go super overt with the James/Sirius, but you can definitely read it in the background!

It ends with a bang.

Lily should have seen it coming. But she didn’t, and now here they are.

She supposes being in hiding with anyone is enough to make all sorts of tensions bubble to the surface. Some part of her tries to reassure herself that it’s better that it all came out after two and a half years of marriage than after twenty.

It does, however, make living together in hiding all the more difficult.

It’s hardly as if they can go their separate ways whilst under the Fidelius Charm; they’re stuck together until one day in November. Dumbledore comes by at about four in the morning to tell them the war is over.

Frank and Alice Longbottom are dead. Their baby survived, an orphan, and has been sent to live with his grandparents.

Lily can’t stop thinking about Frank and Alice and their poor little baby – just Harry’s age, and already an orphan. Their parents, too, must be distraught. All this time, she’s tried to ignore the very real possibility of losing a child, and she can’t imagine it now.

They both leave the cottage.

James moves in with Sirius.

Lily finds a flat on her own, with a bedroom for Harry and a large window with a deep sill for Clover, her cat. It’s in Muggle London, because after all this, frankly, she needs a break. She wants to be able to watch telly and use electricity. Magic is lovely, but there are some things about Muggle culture that magic hasn’t been able to replicate.

Remus is the only one to offer to help her move. He helps her pack and insists on moving her things. He helps her unpack, and she feels like the Chinese she bought them for dinner is poor repayment, even though Remus insists she doesn’t even need to do that.

He’s about all she has left, besides Harry and Clover. She’s not even sure Remus would pick her over James, or if he’s just helping her because he feels bad.

He comes over nearly every day after that. He helps her with chores, plays with Harry, gives her time to decompress, cooks her meals. More than once, he even comes over with groceries for her, even though she knows he’s usually short on funds.

The only time he  _ isn’t _ there for her, really, is during the full moon. Lily has known about Remus since they were at Hogwarts together, so she gives him a hug before he leaves to go wherever it is he goes during the full moon. It’s the least she can do.

They fall quickly into an easy routine.

Remus even surprises her during Chanukah. He shows up with gifts and latkes and sufganiyot and his own chanukiah. 

Nothing’s going to be the same as it was, of course, but Lily finds she doesn’t mind much at all.

* * *

It’s December before James tries to contact her again.

“I’m not trying to get back together,” he says, “but Harry’s my son, too, and I want to be in his life.”

Lily knows it’s a reasonable request. As pissed off as she is at James, and in spite of everything, she knows James is a good father. On a more selfish level, she doesn’t want Harry to grow up to resent her because she’d prevented James from seeing him.

So she agrees, under several conditions. Chief among them being that James’s living space is suitable for a baby, especially considering that Harry has entered the “getting into absolutely everything” stage of development.

They work out a custody agreement, based mostly on Lily’s work schedule (as James doesn’t have a formal job), and equal time (or as close as they can get) with Harry.

And then she has more free time than she knows what to do with. She picks up more hours at work, and that helps, but it isn’t enough.

“I don’t even know what to do with myself,” Lily complains to Remus. “I know this isn’t the  _ worst _ problem to have, but still.”

“I think a lot of people have that problem right now. No one really knows what to do with themselves now that we don’t have to worry about the war.”

“I suppose.”

“We could try going to the cinema, for a start?” Remus suggests.

“The cinema?” Lily repeats incredulously. “I haven’t been to the cinema since... “ She couldn’t even remember. She’d have to have been a teenager.

“Neither have I,” Remus says. “We’ll see a random film and split some popcorn. It’ll be fun.”

“Well,” Lily says. Of all the people to ask her to go to the cinema, Remus is a solid option. His mother is a Muggle. It’s not as if he’s going to ask a million questions about how everything works. “All right.”

An hour later (after a quick stop to Gringotts to change some money), they’re at the closest cinema to her flat, looking at the posters out front.

Remus asks her to pick the film, which she does based purely on the posters hanging out front. He insists on paying. She doesn’t protest, though she does insist on buying the popcorn.

They sit together in the dark cinema, and for about an hour and a half, she almost feels like a normal person.

Like she isn’t scarred by war. Like she isn’t a nearly twenty-two-year-old divorcée-to-be. Like she doesn’t have to try to co-parent with one of the most obnoxious human beings on earth.

It’s nice to be normal for a change. Even if it is just for an hour and a half.

* * *

“What do you want to do for your birthday?” Remus asks on a Tuesday afternoon as they’re playing with Harry. More than anything, Harry loves that ridiculous broomstick (which Lily has ensured is  _ coated _ in protective charms).

Lily can’t remember the last time she did anything special for her birthday. The year before, she didn’t even notice it was coming up until Remus wished her a happy belated birthday the day after. He got her a small gift, too. James didn’t.

She remembers that James stewed over it for weeks afterward. He accused Remus of trying to make him look bad. She wondered at the time what James would have said if he’d known what she and Remus had done in fifth year (and a bit in sixth year). Now she’s convinced he would have accused them of having an affair.

“I didn’t really have any plans,” Lily says, scooping Clover up before Harry could try to run over her with his broom.

“Would you rather have a night out or a night in?”

“I don’t want a party,” Lily says. “Either way.”

“Do you want to do  _ something? _ If not, that’s fine, too.”

Lily shrugs. “I suppose. It could be fun – but nothing crazy.”

“Of course not,” Remus says. “We haven’t even got to invite anyone else if you don’t want to.”

She knows he means it to be reassuring, but it’s really just a grim reminder that nearly all of Lily’s friends are dead. She’s one of the lucky ones.

“Maybe we could just go to a Muggle pub for a drink or two? Less chance of seeing someone we know.”

Remus smirks. “Lily Evans, are you saying you’re ashamed to be seen with me?”

Lily rolls her eyes. “Clearly.”

Remus huffs out a laugh and squeezes her hand. “It’s all right. I forgive you.”

“Good,” Lily says. “Just because I’m ashamed to be seen with you doesn’t mean that I know what I’d do without you.”

* * *

They go out to a small Muggle pub. James stops by first to pick up Harry, and he wishes her a happy birthday on the way out, which is more than she expects. 

She doesn’t really dress up; she puts on jeans and a nice top, and wears trainers to the pub.

The pub is small, Muggle, and nothing fancy. Lily gets the feeling that this isn’t the first time Remus has been here.

There aren’t as many people as Lily would have expected for a Saturday night, but it’s nice. Lily can’t remember the list time she went to a pub just for fun – if she’s ever done such a thing, really. 

She’s careful not to let her guard down too much. She moderates her drinking, even though she trusts Remus more than just about anyone else. It’s not Remus she’s worried about.

It’s hard to shake the habits you pick up when you’re used to living in an actual war.

Remus walks her home. Lily invites him inside. She’s not totally sure what she expects to happen. She’s tipsy, but she wouldn’t say she’s drunk.

Remus, on the other hand, is almost totally smashed.

“You should spend the night,” she says.

Remus flops down on the sofa. She sits down next to him.

“A year ago, did you think everything would turn out like this?”

Lily shrugs. “Everything with James, maybe. The rest, no.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know why you’re so surprised. Our relationship was built on passion and the fact that we both knew there was a good chance we wouldn’t survive the war. Once the passion died out…” 

“Oh,” Remus says. “I hadn’t realised.”

“I didn’t, either, until…” Being stuck in that cottage was really what had done it. Before, they’d both been so busy with the Order and with work; they hadn’t  _ had _ to spend that much time together like that.

“James never treated you badly, did he?”

“We had a lot of rows, and some of them were quite nasty, but no. He never really crossed any lines or raised any red flags. It was just – he’s so immature, and Sirius only enables him.”

“That’s true.”

“And he’s so – so  _ posh! _ It’s not something I ever really thought about until – well, until we were married, actually – but he’s had everything handed to him his whole life.”

“Yeah. I know he has. And as generous as he – and Sirius – can be with what they have, sometimes it really is like they live on a different planet.”

“Exactly,” Lily says. “I didn’t grow up in poverty; we always made ends meet somehow. But my family was absolutely working class. I remember once I started school, my mum got a job, too. Not because she wanted one, but because she needed to. Neither of James’s parents worked for decades.”

“And he’ll never work a day in his life.”

“It’s good for Harry that he’ll never have to worry about financial stability, or anything like that. I want my child to have a better life than I did. But James and I…”

“Lily,” Remus says with not insignificant urgency.

“Yes?”

“Do you ever think about what might have happened if we’d never broken up?”

Of course she has. How can he think that she hasn’t? He was the one to insist on keeping it a secret. She’d have loved to date him publicly. Properly. She thinks James still probably has no idea.

“All the time,” she says.

“I know – I  _ know  _ – you deserve better than me. You deserve someone who – who isn’t a monster.”

“Stop that,” Lily says firmly. “Remus Lupin, you are  _ not _ a monster. You’re the kindest, loveliest, most thoughtful person I’ve ever met, and you’ve  _ always _ been there for me.”

“Until the full moon comes along. Which is next week, by the way.”

Lily knows that already. “And you’re  _ not _ a monster. It’s a medical condition.”

“A medical condition which turns me into a blood-thirsty monster once a month.”

Lily cards her fingers through his hair. “You’re not a monster.”

“No one will ever marry me. I’ll never have kids.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Who in their right mind would marry a werewolf?”

“I would,” Lily says.

“Please don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth.”

“It’s not. You wouldn’t.”

“I would. I’m not saying I’d marry  _ any _ werewolf – I’d never marry someone like Greyback – but someone like _ you… _ why  _ wouldn’t _ I marry someone like you?”

“I could kill you.”

“You won’t. I’ll brew you wolfsbane potion.”

“Lily. That’s too much. Do you know how much that costs?”

“I work in the potions department of St. Mungo’s, Remus. I know exactly how much it costs.”

“I suspect, even with the war over, it’ll be difficult for me to hold down a job. It’ll never take long for them to realise.”

“That’s discrimination and should be illegal. And anyone who wouldn’t marry you because of it is a piece of shit.”

“Or maybe they’ve got very real concerns about financial stability.”

“I think we’d be married now if we’d stayed together. Maybe we’d have a child – I wouldn’t trade Harry for anything, of course –”

“Of course.”

“But I do think…  _ if _ we’d stayed together, we’d still be together.”

“Oh,” Remus says.

“Don’t you?”

Remus shakes his head. “You were always too good for me.”

“What a load of bollocks. Honestly, how can you even think that?”

“Because it’s true.”

“It isn’t. I was  _ so _ in love with you. If it’d been up to  _ me, _ we never would have broken up. You never gave me any sort of reason to end it.”

Remus is so, so close, and so Lily takes the leap of faith and leans in.

* * *

In spite of their shared history, which includes many secret rendez-vous in broom cupboards and disused classrooms, Lily has never woken up next to Remus before.

It’s truthfully been so long since she’s woken up next to  _ anyone. _ In the slightly chilly flat, Remus’s body wrapped around hers is a heater. She buries her face in the crook of his neck and takes in the small of him. He smells like home and safety and god, she’s missed how he smells.

She feels more at peace than she’s felt in a long time. 

She doesn’t know how long they lay there before he stirs. 

“Good morning,” he says.

“Good morning.”

He hesitantly kisses her forehead. “So, er, last night…”

“I had a good time.”

“You don’t regret it?”

“No. Do you?”

“No.”

“Then that’s settled,” Lily says. She kisses his cheek. “I’m going to shower and brush my teeth. You’re welcome to join me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” As if she wouldn’t be sure about something like that.

* * *

He makes her breakfast. Remus is an excellent cook, and they can’t keep their hands off each other.

And it’s easy, after that. Nothing really changes that much. Remus spends the night sometimes, but beyond that, it’s more of the same.

Things at work seem to improve. She lost touch with most of her work friends during the war, and many of them are, for various reasons, no longer at St. Mungo’s. Some of them have died, some have retired, some quit to pursue other professions entirely, and some… well, no one quite knows.

She’s walking by one of the closed wards on the potions floor when David Goldstein catches her. “Lily Evans! It’s great to see you! David Goldstein – I was Head Boy in ’76.”

She’s glad he doesn’t call her Potter. “David! Of course! How are you?”

“I’m well! My son’s just had his second birthday last week, and I think my mother – and my brother – spoil him too much, but we all had a lovely time.”

She didn’t know that David is even married, but she remembers David’s brother, who was in the year below her at Hogwarts as well as during training in this very hospital. She’s glad he survived the war. “He’ll be in the same year as my son. Harry will be two in July.”

“Really? I know this is a bit out of nowhere, but would you be interested in a play date? My wife and I have been trying to find more children Anthony’s age – especially since Cassie and I don’t really plan on having any more kids – at least not any time soon.”

“A playdate sounds lovely. It’d be lovely to have Harry meet other children his age, too – especially other Jewish children.”

“Lovely. And if you’re interested – the wizarding shul in Finchley has Hebrew school starting at age five. I know it’s a bit early, yet, but I always consider it a very important part of my own upbringing, and I know my siblings do, too. My mum’s a Muggleborn, too, so I know trying to navigate the wizarding Jewish community can be difficult, but you can always reach out to me if you have any questions.”

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. And how is your family?” If she remembers correctly, he’s the oldest of three. She’s really only ever properly met his brother, and that’s mostly because they were prefects together.

“They’re well. Isaac was Head Boy, actually. And Miri was Head Girl last year.”

She’s not sure she can piece together Isaac Goldstein as Head Boy; she remembers him as being rather quiet and shy. She suspects that might have been, at least in part, because he fancied her when they were at Hogwarts. Perhaps he’s perfectly outgoing around people he  _ doesn’t _ fancy.

“That’s great! And how are they now?”

“They’re well! Miri’s in training here, actually. Isaac – well, he’s just quit. Three weeks ago.”

“Has he?”

“Yeah. He was a great Healer – still is, really – but… it’s never really been his calling. I think now that the war’s over, he’s been able to admit that to himself and start to try to pursue something that will actually make him happy.”

“I suspect that’s going to be true of more and more and people throughout the next year or so.”

“I’m sure,” David says. “Listen, this it’s been great to catch up, but I’ve got to meet some patients for an appointment – let me know about that playdate, all right?”

“Sure thing.”

* * *

Six months after the war ends, just after another playdate with the Goldsteins, James comes over to pick Harry up.

He’s been far better about this than she ever anticipated. That, however, doesn’t mean that Lily particularly wants to tell him that she’s been dating one of his best friends for four months. She knows him well enough to know he wouldn’t react well.

She’s surprised when James hands her a scroll right when he walks through the door. “Here,” he says. “Divorce papers. We have to go to the Ministry for the counterspell, but…”

But it’s over. She’ll properly be Lily Evans again. She takes the papers, and it’s all she can do not to conjure a quill and sign them right there. She wants to read them first.

“Thank you. I’ll have them ready when you drop Harry off.”

* * *

Remus watches Harry while Lily and James go to the Ministry. Divorce isn’t as common among wizards as it is among Muggles, so the line isn’t nearly as long as she anticipates. James, however, seems annoyed with the length of it, though he tries to crack a joke.

“Guess we weren’t the only ones who got married thinking we’d die before we had to realise how badly matched we were, huh?”

In spite of herself, Lily snorts.

They’re in and out in under an hour, the counterspell performed, and divorce decree in hand.

Harry is asleep in the nursery when she gets back, so it’s hardly as if Lily is going to get drunk to celebrate her divorce. She has one glass of wine and snogs Remus on the sofa.

Things start to get a bit heated, so they go to the bedroom.

She falls asleep with Remus next to her. For once, she feels completely content.

* * *

Everything is lovely for a few weeks, but then she starts to feel – well, not  _ ill _ , exactly, but just a bit off. As she works at a hospital, she asks David to run some basic diagnostic spells as a favour. He agrees, on the condition that it’s after their shifts.

After he runs them, he says, “The good news is that you’re fine. No curses, no poisons – nothing malignant at all.”

“That  _ is _ good news.” Lily isn’t really surprised to hear it, but there are still Death Eaters out there, and she’s a Muggleborn who was a vocal opponent of You-Know-Who. One can never be too safe.

“And no diseases or maladies, magical or mundane. You’re quite possibly the healthiest person I’ve seen in ages.”

“So then what is it?”

“You’re pregnant.””

She wants to ask him to run it again, but David works in the fertility and magical insemination ward. His entire job revolves around fertility and pregnancy. If anyone in St. Mungo’s can give a finite diagnosis of pregnancy, it’s David Goldstein.

“How far along?”

“About three weeks, give or take,” David says. “Though, of course, you know, if that’s a problem – I wouldn’t dare tell Remus. I won’t tell anyone, regardless, but…”

“I… I don’t think I’m going to get an abortion,” Lily says. “Thank you, though.” 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll just, er… give you a moment. Do you want me to see you home?”

Lily shakes her head. “It’s fine. I can manage.”

“We typically advise against apparation, especially in the early stages. Floo’s a bit safer.”

“Thanks,” she says.

She has to tell Remus. She knows she does. She forgot to take her contraceptive potions in the excitement of the divorce, and now…

She  _ can _ get an abortion. She knows it’s an option. If it were James, she’d get one, no need to think twice about it. Honestly, if it were anyone other than Remus, she’d probably seriously consider it.

But it  _ is _ Remus.

He’s so wonderful with Harry. She can’t help but imagine what he’d be like with his own child. And it’ll be nice for Harry to have a sibling. She’s always wanted that for him. A sibling, maybe two. Obviously, that isn’t going to be with James. But Remus… she’s sure he’ll be a wonderful father.

She just has to figure out how to tell him.

* * *

She decides to do it on a night that James has Harry. She makes dinner, and the fact that it’s the night of the new moon is a reassuring one.

It’s as good a chance as she’s ever going to get.

She’s thought of a dozen ways to bring it up, but Remus does it for her.

“Are you feeling any better, love?”

“I am, actually.” Prenatal potions are a godsend, and she only wishes Muggle women could make use of them.

“Did you ever figure out what was wrong? It wasn’t anything serious, was it?”

“Not at all,” she says. “Actually… I’m pregnant.”

Remus doesn’t respond immediately. Lily doesn’t say anything else. She lets him process what he needs to process.

The flat is silent for at least five minutes.

“You can’t be,” he finally says.

“Well, I am,” Lily says.

When he looks at her, she’s startled by how desperate he looks. “Lily, you  _ cannot _ have my child.”

“I can and I will, Remus. This is my decision to make.”

“What if it’s – like me?”

“Then I’ll give them wolfsbane potion every month,” Lily says.

“I can’t – Lily, you’re already a Muggleborn. You can’t – I’m a  _ werewolf. _ When people find out – and they  _ will  _ find out – you’ll be an outcast.”

Lily rolls her eyes. She doesn’t have the patience for his self-pity right now. “You say that as if I didn’t grow up a Jew. In the  _ Midlands, _ need I remind you? A Jew and a freak and then a Muggleborn. I hardly think having a child with the man I love would lower anyone’s opinion of me.”

She realises as she says it that she’s said the word “love” for the first time. Well, shit.

“Love – you  _ love _ me?”

“Of course I do. Don’t be daft. I understand this is a shock, and if you need to take some time to adjust, that’s fine, but I’m  _ having _ this child, and I’d like you to help me raise it.”

Remus stands up, pulling at his hair. “You’re right. I need some time.”

He disapparates without another word.

* * *

He doesn’t come back for over a week. She has to ask James to watch Harry more often while she’s at work, which isn’t the end of the world, but it  _ is _ a disruption in their schedules.

She knows what thing: she’s getting more and more impatient. And annoyed.

It isn’t like she doesn’t understand that this is something that can (and will) fundamentally change both of their lives. She does.

And she understands how sensitive Remus is about his condition, but it isn’t his fault that he’s a werewolf. It’s not his fault that people discriminate against him. And it’s not anything that Lily would ever hold against him. She thinks he knows that. Maybe she’s wrong.

She doesn’t know why, but she decides to visit Petunia. 

She hasn’t seen Petunia in years. Petunia’s jealousy turned into anger and resentment… but she’s still her sister. Still her only family besides Harry.

So she bundles Harry up on a Tuesday morning and drives down to Little Whinging, Surrey. She admittedly uses magic to find her sister’s house, but all the manicured front lawns look exactly the same.

She rings the bell.

Petunia answers. She looks almost the same as Lily remembers. A little older. Thinner. Her hair is shorter.

But the look of disgust on her face is the same.

Lily stops her before she can slam the door in her face. “I just want to talk.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“It’s not as if I expect us to become best friends, but as I did nearly die less than six months ago, I rather think we should try getting on civil terms.”

Petunia doesn’t move, which Lily takes as a victory. “I don’t want any of that… freakish behaviour in my house.”

Lily remembers when Petunia thought her magic was incredible. She supposes there’s little room for magic and Otherness in the aspiring middle class. She wonders if any of Petunia’s neighbours even know she’s Jewish.

“I won’t do anything less than acceptable in your house, Tuney.”

She hopes the childhood nickname softens her sister. 

Petunia looks at Harry for the first time. “Where’s your husband?”

“No idea. Our divorce was finalised last month.”

Petunia sniffs. Divorce doesn’t fit into the aspiring middle class, either, but maybe it’s a bit better than magic. “Well. I can’t say I’m terribly surprised. I certainly hope he wasn’t how you almost died. I couldn’t have people hearing about that and asking  _ me.” _

“He had nothing to do with it.”

-

* * *

Somehow, she finds herself in Petunia’s sitting room, having tea. Harry is on the floor, playing with his cousin. (Lily does find a bit unsettling how very much like his father Dudley looks, but then Harry looks just like James, too, so perhaps she shouldn’t judge).

“You’ll have to be gone before Vernon gets home, you understand.”

She doesn’t, not really, but she agrees. She has no desire whatsoever to see Vernon. “How have you been, Tuney?”

“Well,” she says.

“Your house is lovely.”

“Thank you.”

“And – it’s Dudley, isn’t it?”

She doesn’t soften. “Yes.” 

“He looks very – healthy.”

“He is.”

“He’s about Harry’s age, isn’t he? Harry’s due to turn two at the end of July. When’s Dudley’s birthday?”

“June.”

“Oh, that’s really quite close, isn’t it?”

“I suppose.”

“What does he like?”

Petunia seems to react to that. “Pardon me?”

“For his birthday. I’d like to get him a gift.”

“Oh,” Petunia says. “Dudley only gets the best.”

Of course he does. “Let me know what I should get him.”

“There’s a list,” Petunia says. “I’m not sure there’s anything in  _ your  _ budget, though.”

“I’m sure I can manage something,” Lily says. She looks over to where Harry is playing with his cousin. How have they not started fighting yet?

“It’s not as if we’d invite you to the party. It’s all going to be very normal.”

Her sister says that as if they didn’t grow up together. “I’d still like to get him a gift. Don’t worry; you’re under no obligation to buy Harry anything in return. And obviously, I wouldn’t dare get Dudley anything that isn’t deeply  _ normal.” _

“Very well,” Petunia says. “If you insist.”

* * *

Sirius and James are waiting outside of Lily’s flat when she gets home. Once she makes sure it’s really  _ them, _ she lets Harry down, who runs straight to his father. 

“Daddy!”

James scoops him up in a bear hug. “How’s my best boy?”

“Good! We saw Mummy’s friend!”

Sirius raises an eyebrow. She doesn’t want to know what he suspects, because it’s none of his damn business.

“What are you two doing here?” she asks. She isn’t going to prevent James from seeing Harry, of course, but it’s not his scheduled time to have him, and Lily doesn’t have to go in to work, and they’ve agreed since the start that joint visits aren’t the best idea. They still have a tendency to snipe at each other more than Harry really should see.

“Can we talk inside?” Sirius asks. 

Lily rolls her eyes. “Fine. Come in.”

She unlocks the door and ushers them inside, locking the door behind them. 

“What do you want?”

James gives her a significant look. If he wants to play it that way…

“Harry, love, why don’t you go get your new broomstick and show Daddy?”

“Okay!” he says, and he drags James to his room.

Sirius casts the necessary privacy charms. Harry’s too clever for his own good, really, and none of them want him overhearing things he shouldn’t. “Remus has been crashing on our sofa for the past week. And he’s not showered.”

Lily crosses her arms. “And?”

_ “And _ he’s not said anything, but it’s clearly got to do with you.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because you’ve been dating him for, like, four months?”

“Excuse me?”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “I’m not accusing you of anything. Neither is James. He doesn’t mind that you’ve been dating Remus. But Remus has really not bathed all week, and the smell is starting to permeate the entire house.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to do.”

“Talk to him? Just an idea.”

“Or you could tell him to get over himself,” Lily says. “I’ve not spoken to him in days.”

“Why not?”

“None of your business.”

“Lily. Whatever it is, I’m not going to tell James. It’s none of his business.”

She doesn’t quite trust him to keep a secret from James. But, well, she could use his help in translating something. “It’s related to his lycanthropy.”

Sirius furrows his brows. “Oh. He knows you know, though.”

“I know. It’s just… Britain’s a bit unique in stigmatizing it to the extent we do. Loads of other countries treat it like the medical condition it is. What was it Forster said? Something about how Britain’s never acknowledged human nature.”

“I’m a Pureblood, Lily. I know.”

“I think… before I can talk to him properly about this, I need some help. You speak German, don’t you?”

“Unfortunately.”

She finds the volume she needs translated. “I need to know what this says. I’ve marked the important bits.”

“What are those?” He opens the book and peels off a yellow paper.

“They’re called Post-Its. I bought them from a Muggle shop. They make things a bit easier.”

“My mother would lose her shit if she knew I was wasting her years of German tutors on translating a medical volume on werewolves marked with Muggle papers.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Absolutely.”

* * *

Two days after that, Remus shows up on her doorstep with Chinese takeaway. Harry is asleep in his room, and Lily has been watching telly.

“I’m sorry,” he says as soon as she opens the door.

At least he looks like he’s showered. “I’m listening.”

She steps aside and lets him in. Some things, after all, are private. Even if he’s going to be a complete shithead about it, she doesn’t want the neighbours listening in.

“I overreacted. Obviously. I didn’t listen to what you were saying. I only let my own fears and anxieties cloud my judgement, and I took  _ way _ too long to think things over.”

“You did.”

“I understand if you’ve – moved on, or made any decisions without me. But…”

“But what?”

“But I’m all in. If – if you are.”

He’s saying all the right things, but then again – he  _ did _ just up and leave for nearly two weeks. Which means it’s just a few days before the full moon. That might have something to do with how wan he looks.

“And how do I know you won’t do the same thing all over again?”

“I won’t. I promise you I won’t.”

“And,” Lily says, “what if our child  _ does _ turn out to be like you?”

“I won’t leave. I wouldn’t leave. Lily, I love you. I panicked, and I overreacted, and – everything about my condition has made my life more difficult and miserable. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, let alone a child with the woman I love, and neither of us know if it’s hereditary.”

“You  _ are _ aware that Britain is hardly the only place with werewolves, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes. Of course.”

“And some other countries treat it like the medical condition it is – and have reams of research on it.”

“Oh,” Remus says.

“It’s only transferrable when you’re transformed. And obviously you weren’t when you got me pregnant.”

“And when did you…?” He’s hesitant to believe her, she realises.

“I started looking into it, broadly speaking, at Hogwarts. As to whether it’s hereditary, there  _ is _ quite the research library at work.”

“Oh.”

“It was a matter of translating from German – but fortunately, Sirius happens to be fluent.”

“You’ve told Sirius?”

“Of course not. I had him help me with various excerpts from a rather large volume. At the most, he thinks I want to be prepared in case I do decide to have a child with you.”

“Good. Not that – not that I don’t want Sirius to know, but…”

“Yes, I rather thought you’d want to be there when I told him.”

She looks at him, then at the food he’s brought. She loves him. He fucked up immensely, but she loves him. “I’m brewing you wolfsbane potion each month, and if you  _ ever _ leave me for a week again, I will hunt you down.”

He looks nervous, but he nods. “All right.”

“Honestly, Remus. You’d think you’d have learned by now that we all love you and want to help you. Accept our help when we offer, because it’s not just me. It’s James and Sirius, too.”

“I can’t believe you worked with Sirius on this.”

“It wasn’t ideal, but the only other person I know who speaks German fluently is his brother, which seemed like an even worse choice.”

“Oh, didn’t you hear?” Remus says. “Sirius was furious.”

“What?”

“Dumbledore told him a week ago that Slughorn was retiring and Regulus was taking his place as potions master.”

On the topic of tense sibling relationships… “I visited Petunia.”

“Did you?”

She kisses his cheek. “I’ll tell you about it over dinner.”


End file.
